The Happy Marriage - a novel by Tahar Ben Jelloun

Here is a piece from the Independent on a new novel by  Tahar Ben Jelloun that has been translated into English. Its about a not so happy marriage between a Fessi man
and an Amazigh (Berber) woman from Southern Morocco.  His novels always seem to catch your attention, but we sometimes wonder who is Ben Jelloun's intended audience.

_________________________________

The Happy Marriage by Tahar ben Jelloun, trans. André Naffis-Sahely, book review: 'Living hell' for husband and wife

Tahar ben Jelloun's thumpingly ironic title fronts the tale of a long, fractious and toxic partnership

by Boyd Tonkin
Thursday 21 January 2016


Tolstoy begins Anna Karenina with the questionable claim: "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

If what applies to families also goes for the marriages that make or break them, readers of fiction may beg to differ. At least since the age of Tolstoy, Flaubert and Henry James, suffering couples in the novel tend to run to type.

Tahar ben Jelloun, the powerful and prolific Moroccan-born novelist who migrated to France in 1971, knows all the pitfalls of his chosen genre. His thumpingly ironic title fronts the tale of a long, fractious and toxic partnership, a "living hell" for both husband and wife. The latter acknowledges: "We were not made to be together". So how does Ben Jelloun, always a resourceful and versatile storyteller, renovate this shop-worn material? Be patient, wait and see.

In 2000, a distinguished Moroccan painter has a serious stroke in Casablanca. Stricken by the immobility that diminishes him from a "brilliant, elegant and celebrated" artist to a helpless invalid who sees "a Francis Bacon painting" in the mirror, he has all the time in the world to reflect on his creative and emotional life.

His recovery inches forward at a glacial pace. Enlisting a friend as his amanuensis, he uses this enforced hiatus to compose a memoir. It swiftly descends into an embittered indictment of his wife, their relationship, marriage itself.

FULL ARTICLE

Amina Filali

This story is so heartbreaking that it seems wrong not to speak of it. The article from The Telegraph discusses the suicide of Amina Filali, may God be Merciful to her, after suffering the degrading abuse of having to marry the man who raped her.
May her death not be exploited by any side, but used to prevent the coercion and brutalization of women's bodies and souls in the name of tradition or religion. Ameen
(Photo: Hamida, Right, and Souad, the sister and mother of Amina Al Filali sit at her grave in Larache - AFP/Getty Images)

_________________________

Moroccan teenager's suicide after she was forced to marry her rapist
A Moroccan teenager committed suicide after her family forced her to marry her rapist in a tragedy that has sparked outrage among Moroccan activists and demands for changes to the nation's laws.


By Paul Carsten, and agencies

2:50PM GMT 15 Mar 2012

Amina Filali, 16, drank rat poison last week in order to kill herself because she had been made to marry the man who raped her when she was 15 years old.

Activists have set up a Facebook group called "We are all Amina Filali", with almost 1,000 members. A petition was started which already contains more than 1,000 signatures, and hundreds of tweets detail people's horror at the tragedy.

Nabil Belkabir, an activist, implored people on Twitter to "Join the group 'We are all Amina Filali' if you don't want this drama to happen again."

According to the president of Morocco's Democratic League for Women's Rights, Fouzia Assouli, Miss Filali's rapist married her to avoid receiving a sentence for rape.

In Morocco this is punishable by five to ten years in prison, but the sentence rises to between ten and twenty years if the victim is a minor.


Article 475 of the Moroccan penal code, which purports to defend family values, states that if a rapist marries his victim he is then exonerated of his crime. Ms Assouli attacked the article, saying it "does not uphold the rights of women".

In many societies, including within the Middle East, a woman losing her virginity before marriage is considered a dishonour to her family. For this reason, families will often make arrangements for rape victims to marry their rapists, so as to restore their lost honour. The Book of Deuteronomy in the Old Testament contains a similar injunction.

"Amina, 16, was triply violated, by her rapist, by tradition and by Article 475 of the Moroccan law," activist Abadila Maaelaynine wrote on Twitter.

Miss Filali's father, Lahcen Filali, told an online Moroccan newspaper that his daughter only told her parents of the rape two months after it had occurred. When they reported it, the prosecutor advised his daughter to marry.

Although the rapist had initially rejected the proposal to marry Miss Filali, he agreed once threatened with prosecution.

The manager of the Adala Association for legal reform, Abdelaziz Nouaydi, said that a judge can only encourage the victim and rapist to marry when there is agreement from the victim and both families.

Mr Nouaydi said that although it isn't a common occurrence, the victim's family will sometimes assent to the marriage due to worries she will be unable to find a husband if her rape becomes common knowledge.

Ms Assouli said that the victim is then forced to marry in order to avoid scandal for her family.

Despite Morocco changing its family code in 2004 in an attempt to improve women's rights, the practice continues. "It is unfortunately a recurring phenomenon," she said. "We have been asking for years for the cancellation of Article 475 of the penal code which allows the rapist to escape justice."

Legislation to outlaw all forms of violence against women, which includes rape within marriage, has failed to move beyond government debate since first being proposed in 2006.

Mr Filali said his daughter had complained to her mother that her husband beat her repeatedly throughout the five months they were married. Her mother advised her to be patient.

According to a government study conducted last year, almost one quarter of Moroccan women have been sexually assaulted at least once in their lives.

More Moroccan Women Proposing to Men for Marriage

Here is an article from Al-Arabiya, on the rising tendency of Moroccan women to express their intentions of marriage directly to Moroccan men.
_______________________________________
More Moroccan Women Propose to Men

Tuesday, 20 December 2011
By Khadija al-Fathi
Al Arabiya Casablanca

In conservative societies, it is always expected of men to take the initiative as far as marriage proposals are concerned and girls who decide to reverse the situation are likely to be criticized for breaking a long-standing tradition. The remarkable rise in the number of women proposing to men in Morocco has shed more light on the phenomenon and drove many to analyze the reasons for its prevalence.

“I proposed to my husband,” Naeema al-Mansouri told Al Arabiya.
Mansouri recounted the time she met the woman that later became her mother-in-law and offered to marry her son.

“We were in a wedding and I met her there. Another woman asked her how her son was and she said he found a job and was looking for a wife. I told her that I can make a good wife for her son and that I am good at cooking and household chores.”

The woman, Mansouri added, told her that she likes her and that she has no problem with her marrying her son, but said he has to decide when he gets to see her.

“I met him and he liked me. He said he would marry me provided that we live with his mother who would feel lonely if we lived away from her. I agreed and now she is like a mother to me.”

Hend, a woman in her thirties, first proposed to her future husband jokingly.
“I told him I am willing to bring a bunch of flowers and ask him to marry me,” she told Al Arabiya.

Hend added that he asked her whether she was serious and she told him that “the man who refuses to divorce his wife when she asks for it is not a man and so is the man who refuses to marry a woman when she asks for it.”

“Of course I am a man,” he replied then went to visit her parents with their family.

Hassan al-Haithami, editor-in-chief of the Justice and Development Party’s website, does not mind marrying a woman who proposes to him as long as she has all the traits he needs in a wife.

“There is nothing wrong with a woman asking a man to marry her. These are feelings and you cannot control them and decide who says what. There is nothing insulting for a woman to do that. In fact, I find it very brave,” he told Al Arabiya.

Rukaia Zayed, a housewife and a mother of four, disagreed to this breach of traditions.

“If a woman proposes to my and he agreed, I will disown him forever,” she told Al Arabiya.

Zayed explained that in this case she will discover what a weak personality her son has and how indifferent he is to the social and family norms in which he was brought up.

For sociologist and university professor Abdul Samad al-Dialmi, the rise in the number of women proposing to men is part of a female campaign to promote the principles of gender equality.

“Moroccan women are proving that they will not surrender to spinsterhood and that she has the right to tell a man if she likes him and wants to marry him because they are equal,” he told Al Arabiya.

Dialmi objected to regarding this action on the part of women as too daring and argued that society has to admit that this is one of women’s rights.
Abdul Razek al-Jay, professor of Sunna at Rabat University and member of the Scientific Circle for Islamic Studies, said that men are usually the ones who propose to women because this is what tradition has always dictated, yet there is nothing wrong with it from the religious point of view.

“Prophet Mohamed’s first wife Khadija was the one who proposed to him, yet this has not been part of the Sunnah because it is not socially common,” he told Al Arabiya.

Jay explained that Islam is the religion of equality and that is why it is the woman’s right to propose to a man if she finds in him the traits she seeks.
“The only problem would be if the woman proposes to the man because of how rich or handsome he is and without paying attention to his morals. She will in this case have fallen into the trap of imitating Mexican and Turkish soap operas that have lately invaded the Arab world,” he concluded.

(Translated from Arabic by Sonia Farid)

Alarming Hike in Unmarried Mothers in Morocco

Here is an article from CNN about the 27,200 unmarried Moroccan women who became mothers in 2009. There are a lot of steps that should be taken before mere "acceptance" of unwed mothers such as improving youth employment and financially assisting youth to get married.Increasing education opportunities for females. Also, basic sex education and improved access to birth control. Holding Moroccan males responsible for their inappropriate sexual behavior is a great idea too - these women didn't get pregnant all by themselves.
____________________
Study reveals alarming hike in unmarried mothers in Morocco
By Martin Jay, for CNN
May 3, 2011 -- Updated 1945 GMT (0345 HKT)


* A recent study says number of unwed mothers in Morocco rose dramatically from 2008
to 2009
* Study shows 60% of unwed mothers are younger than 26 and a third younger than 20
* Strong prejudice still remains against unwed mothers from most groups of society

A recent study published by a Casablanca support group for single mothers says the number of Morocco's unmarried mothers in 2009 is at least double those in 2008 -- 27,200 compared with 11,016 the year before, according to the Institution Nationale de Solidarite Avec Les Femmes en Distresse.

As in most Muslim countries, it is considered an intolerable shame on a family in Morocco if a daughter falls pregnant outside marriage. In many cases, families totally reject a daughter who becomes pregnant before marriage.

Morocco's unmarried mothers are mostly young, said Houda El Bourahi, the institute's director. The study shows 60% are younger than 26 and a third younger than 20, she said.

According to the 350-page report, the mothers are often in "vulnerable" professions, such as house servants, and the majority have a low level of schooling. Often, the women believe that their sexual partners will marry them, and so agree to their demands, according to the study.

Despite Morocco being modern in so many respects, strong prejudice still remains against unwed mothers from most groups of society.

"It's time to put an end to prejudices held against these women though who are considered by (Moroccan) society as prostitutes," El Bourahi said. "These women are rejected by their families and by society and are not protected by the law."

Since the end of last year, 7,000 women in Casablanca alone had been assisted at the organization's Center of Listening on the outskirts of the city, the commercial capital of Morocco with a population of almost 4 million. Furthermore, 2,000 children have been accepted legally by the civil state and 540 have been recognized by their fathers.

The women's rights agenda has accelerated dramatically in recent years in Morocco largely following an initiative by King Mohammed VI to give women more equality, both at home and in the workplace. A new law adopted in 2004 gave women more rights as wives, for example.

Still, few men accept unmarried mothers and their offspring despite less of a stigma these days toward women who take up jobs and consider virginity to be an outdated virtue. While many men consider single mothers to be prostitutes, sex workers reportedly represent a tiny percentage of Morocco's unmarried mothers.

Moroccans Register Their Traditional Marriages

Here is an article from Al-Arabiya News about government officials going to rural areas to officially recognize marriages that took place outside the domains of Moroccan bureaucratic hoop-jumping.
_________________________________________

Moroccans to register traditional marriages

Friday, 15 April 2011

By NADIA IDRISS MAYEN
Al Arabiya with Agencies

Moroccans will be required to register traditional marriages from 2014 when the planned legislation will take effect, in a report issued by the government.

The Ministry of Justice wants to document official statistics on marriage contracts under the new Family Code. The code will be applicable to all Moroccans. There is little information available on how many Moroccans living in remote areas are married due to the cumbersome registration process and bureaucratic delays.

The government unveiled an action plan based on bringing judicial services to remote areas in a bid to provide legal services, especially for the uneducated.

In 2010, in the outskirts of the city of Marrakech, a court proceeding took place in a tent in the village of Tighdoine in the suburbs of El Haouz. Couples were invited to register their marriages. The mobile tent traveled between remote villages to allow couples in far-flung places to get registered.

On the first day of the proceedings, more than 20 couples came to document and certify their marriages for the first time in their lives. In one case, a judge interrogated a woman in her eighties who wanted her marriage with her deceased husband recognized despite his death years ago.

One woman, Nasima, talked to Al Arabiya about the advantages of documenting a legal contract of marriage. “I am here to legalize my marriage for [the sake of] myself and my children,” she said.

This registration drive saw the number of documented marriages reach more than 13,900. Authorities hope they will see similar results elsewhere.

Mohammed Minyani, a judge who conducts the registration in villages, said: “A marriage has to be in the presence of a group of witnesses as it enables them to certify their contracts, which will provide relief from any administrative difficulties they might face.”

Observers in Morocco criticize the slow pace of the judicial system but the ministry of justice hopes the mobile courts will redress their complaints.

Souk Zaouaj : Moroccan Online Marriage Site Makes News

Here is an article from the AFP about a new website Moroccans are using to find spouses.
______________________

Morocco: website gives new twist to 'arranged' marriages

By Omar Brouksy (AFP)

CASABLANCA, Morocco — Marriage in Morocco has an increasingly changing face these days as young men and women in search of lifetime partners head for the souk, in this case a "cyber" marriage souk.

In a country where many marriages are still arranged, a click of a computer mouse will take the Internaut to Soukzouaj, a free site where thousands of lonely hearted young Moroccans look for their soul mates

"This marriage site was created in June 2010," Yasser Nejjar, founder of soukzouaj.ma, told AFP.

"So it's recent but but it has a real success because it's free and it's near."

Every day almost 2,600 prospective partners visit the site, two thirds of them women. Its shows a map of Morocco divided into 16 sections, and the user can click on the part of the country they choose to start their search.

"Today, for example, there are 1,670 posts from women as against 870 from men. To my mind that means women are more daring than men," Nejjar observed.

"Most of the posts show there is a great desire for commitment and 'seriousness', in what they call 'halal', that is to say legal, which is in line with religious norms. In short, marriage."

Observers of Moroccan society regard matrimonial sites as a new phenomenon, linked to new forms of communication, even if there are many family-arranged marriages in a country where Islam is the state religion.

"Today girls make demands," said sociologist Soumaya Naamane Guessous.

"They want husbands who love them, who respect them, men not smothered by their mother, who allow them to live far from their in-laws."

She says that the success of soukzouaj, quite apart from the fact that it is free, in a country where arranged marriages are common, is due to the fact "that young girls no longer accept the first suitor who knocks at their family's door, or whom the family suggests."

Latest official figures show more than 13 million surf the net in this North African kingdom of about 32 million residents.

The Internet has also played a role in recent demonstrations for pro-democracy reform in Morocco, following a trend across the Arab world that started in Tunisia where sweeping protests led to the ouster of president Zine el Abidine Ben Ali in January.

The first rallies in several Moroccan cities on February 20 were in answer to a call by young people via Facebook.

On Soukzouaj, most of the posts by women, in the Moroccan dialect, darija, and French, emphasise the need for "respect" for them and a requirement that the prospective spouse be a "practising Muslim".

"Young Moroccan woman, teacher, seeks Muslim with a good heart, good man, who respects women and is generous from every point of view," reads one post.

The men, for their part, highlight their social standing and "seriousness".

"I am Simo, 28, from Rabat, computer engineer in a ministry, practising, nice and very serious, looking for serious girl from same city for serious relationship which, God willing, will result in a bright and holy marriage," said one man in search of the wife of his dreams.

The arrival of marriage sites demonstrates the upheavals and changes resulting from the modernisation of part of Moroccan society, observers say.

"We see, too, that there is a lot of loneliness, disappointment among both men and women," said Nâamane Guessous.

Copyright © 2011 AFP. All rights reserved.

Demographic Change in Morocco: Living Longer, Marrying Later, and Having Fewer Children المغرب يشهد تحولا ديمغرافيا

Here is an article from Magharebia on documented changes to the Moroccan lifestyle. The Arabic version can be found here.
____________________________________________
Morocco Faces Demographic Change

Moroccans are living longer, marrying later and reducing their fertility rate, according to a recent state report.
By Siham Ali for Magharebia in Rabat – 18/03/11

Moroccan society is witnessing massive demographic and social shifts, a recently released National Demographic Survey concluded.

While the average Moroccan born in the 1960s had a life expectancy of 47 years, it has now risen to 74.8 years, the findings conducted in 2009-2010 revealed.

"There has been an increase of 28 years, resulting from the drop in mortality rates in the various age groups. The speed at which these rates have changed is, as we know, strongly related to the extent of improvements made in sanitary and living conditions," explained High Commissioner for Planning Ahmed Lahlimi at a Rabat press briefing on Monday (March 14th).

The Morocco infant mortality rate, though still high, has fallen considerably. In the early 1960s, almost one child in every seven died before their first birthday, compared with one in 33 today.

Recent years have seen a sizeable reduction in fertility, according to Lahlimi. In 2004, the fertility rate was 2.46 children per woman. But in six years, it has dropped approximately 2% per year. "This is quite a remarkable phenomenon when the fertility is already low," he said.

According to the official, these transformations in reproductive behaviour suggest underlying changes in marital practices. The marriage age has increased considerably in the past fifty years. In 2010, women married at an average age of 26.6 and men at 31.4, which is 9.3 and 7.5 years later, respectively, than in 1960.

The indicator is higher in urban areas than in the countryside, with rural men marrying on average 2.5 years earlier than those living in towns and rural women tying the knot 1.8 years earlier than city dwellers. Today, nine out of ten women aged 15 to 19 years are still unmarried.

Endogamy, which has traditionally been encouraged as a way of maintaining family cohesion or safeguarding family assets, fell from 33% in 1987 to 29.3% in 1995, reaching 21% in 2010. The current divorce rate is 10.5% compared with 31% in the 1960s.

Far-reaching changes had occurred in value systems and social behaviour, against a backdrop of considerable cross-fertilisation of Moroccan populations under the effect of immigration, Lahlimi said.

The falling demographic rate can also be seen in the reduced population under 15, which made it possible to increase inputs into education and improve the quality of those entering the labour market, he explained.

Economist Saâd Beddari told Magharebia that the importance of such a study lies in the identification of new needs, so that changes can be made to match the society transformations.

The working population, essentially made up of young people, is without doubt a considerable asset, he said, but that requires the state to step up its rate of investment in leading sectors. This, Beddari argued, can partly be done by adjusting the education and training system to match the new requirements.

Detailed analysis is needed to bring practical solutions to the emerging problems, according to sociologist Samir Kassimi.

"We have seen, for example, more and more single people – both men and women – because of socioeconomic problems," she said. "We see more and more older women who do not work and are not married. They are looked after through family solidarity. The state needs to take new these changes into account in order to plan suitable support mechanisms."

Turkish Men Becoming "Marriage Magnets" for Moroccan Women

Here is an article from Hurriyet, a Turkish paper about the rising number of Moroccan women marrying Turkish men, sometimes to be second wives.
_________________


SE Turkish men becoming marriage magnet for Moroccan women

Thursday, January 6, 2011
NEZİR GÜNEŞ
MARDİN - Doğan News Agency (DHA)

National boundaries and a distance of thousands of kilometers have proven no obstacle to love with hundreds of Moroccan women choosing to abandon their lives in North Africa for marriage, often as second wives, in Mardin.

During the past two years, more than 400 Moroccan women have moved to the southeastern province of Mardin to become the wives of Turkish men they met online, Doğan news agency, or DHA, reported earlier this week, adding that 150 Moroccan-Turkish couples tied the knot in the first 10 months of 2010.

The influx of Moroccan women began after villages in the area started opening their first Internet cafés. When the province’s Gökçe jurisdiction opened its first such location, local men – regardless of their marital status – began chatting with Moroccans over the Internet. Following marriage proposals, several moved to Mardin, in some cases accepting the existence of the men’s first wives who also live in the same house.

After two more Internet cafés opened in Gökçe, more local men reportedly found Moroccan women on Internet. In addition to several bachelors, 15 married men asked women to move to Turkey to live with them.

The transition for the Moroccans is easier because many of the villagers already speak Arabic thanks to their ethnic background.

Some 40 Moroccan women were said to be living in the province’s jurisdictions of Gökçe last year, up from the 15 previously.

In nearby Ortaköy, 10 Moroccan women have now taken up residency. Some of the women can reportedly speak Arabic, French, Spanish and English and many have university degrees.

Turkey does not legally recognize polygamous marriages but the practice still exists in some areas. Second wives are married in religious or cultural ceremonies and have few legal rights. However, because of their interpretation of Islamic beliefs, many of the women have said there is nothing wrong with being involved in a polygamous relationship.

First Moroccan brides in the district

Monia, who did not give her last name, was reportedly the first Moroccan bride to come to Gökçe. Calling her marriage to 36-year-old Halit Öncel “fortune,” she said she wanted to share her life with her new husband. Öncel already has a wife and 11 children from his first marriage.

Öncel said he first identified himself to Monia as a single man, but later told her the truth before proposing two months later. Monia accepted, and Öncel legally divorced his wife before legally marrying Monia. The new couple has a son, Yunus Emre, from the marriage, but continues to live together with the first wife and the other children.

Monia reportedly graduated from a religious university in Morocco and speaks French fluently.

Aziza Eroğlu, another Moroccan university graduate who was teaching French in a kindergarten in Morocco, also agreed to move and live in Mardin as a second wife to İskender Eroğlu.

“She fell in love with me and accepted all the consequences,” said Eroğlu, adding that because of his first marriage, his marriage to Aziza was not legal, but that the three lived together without problems.

“Despite her good life in Morocco, she came here because she fell in love,” he said.

Jamila, who also did not give her last name, was the first Moroccan woman to move to southeastern Turkey as a legal wife, according to official records. The woman, who speaks French and Spanish, worked at a textile factory until she met and agreed to marry Samir Bozdağ. Following a Moroccan-style wedding in the North African country, the couple settled in Gökçe.

Gökçe Mayor Haluk Çelik said all of the marriages were organized beyond the municipality’s control. “Our Moroccan wives, who on average speak three languages, attend Turkish literacy courses organized by the Kızıltepe Public Training Center.”

Divorced Moroccan Women to Recieve Financial Support from the Government صندوق مغربي يمنح النفقة للمطلقات

This is great news for women and children ( and society as a whole) in Morocco. Hopefully it pulls some women out of the trials and disgrace of desperation. This article from Al-Magharebia reports that the Moroccan government will start providing support for divorced women if their ex-husbands disappear or are unable to provide such support. We post the article in English and Arabic (Please excuse some of the formatting issues).
__________________________

Moroccan divorcees to receive nafaqa from government fund

2010-11-18

A long-awaited financial assistance programme for Moroccan female divorcees begins in 2011.

By Siham Ali for Magharebia in Rabat – 18/11/10


Seven years after Morocco's Moudawana, or Family Code, authorised financial help for divorced women, the Family Solidarity Fund will finally take effect on January 1st, 2011.

The House of Representatives on Thursday (November 4th) unanimously passed a bill authorising payment of alimony (nafaqa) to women and minor children if the ex-spouse defaults.

Justice Minister Mohamed Naciri told legislators that the fund aims to promote family solidarity and social cohesion. Some 500 million dirhams allocated for 2011 will be available for immediate disbursement.

Moroccan women without income often struggle because judicial decrees on alimony are slow to be enforced. Left on their own and with children in tow, these divorced women have to get by without any help.

Samira R. is 34 years old. Divorced at the age of 22, and left with a newborn daughter, she has been unable to get the courts to enforce the nafaqa ruling.

"My ex-husband has gone into hiding so that he doesn't have to pay anything. The courts haven't been able to track him down, even though he's a trader and can cater to the needs of his only daughter," she said.

For twelve years, Samira has been working as a maid so that her daughter Nora, a first-year secondary school student, can "continue with her studies and extricate herself from the vulnerable position they are living in". In January, Samira will be able to apply for money from the family court that issued the alimony ruling.

Under the new law, destitute divorced mothers and their children will be eligible for support after two months of non-payment, in cases where the alimony decree cannot be enforced, and "where the husband is absent".


Court-ordered alimony must be strictly enforced, because in some cases, the father has the wherewithal to pay but is not "sufficiently" compelled to perform this duty, MP and lawyer Fatima Moustaghfir told Magharebia. She said that the creation of the fund is a brave step, but should not encourage fathers to shirk their obligations.

"The marriage contract must include clear articles concerning the rights of both parties," she said, adding that taking action before marriage avoids needless problems and divorce.

Although there is a reconciliation procedure that spouses can resort to prior to divorce, it is difficult for judges to implement it properly, given the high number of divorce cases that are heard every day, the MP explained.

"The essential requirement for marriage is continuity. If it is dysfunctional from the beginning, the only result can be social problems. Both spouses must be compatible in every respect," she said.
________________________



صندوق مغربي يمنح النفقة للمطلقات
2010-11-18

يدخل برنامج للمساعدة المالية للمطلقات المغربيات طال انتظاره حيز التنفيذ في 2011.

سهام علي من الرباط لمغاربية – 18/11/10


سبع سنوات بعد سماح المدونة المغربية أو قانون الأسرة بمنح المساعدة المالية لفائدة المطلقات، يدخل صندوق التضامن الأسري حيز التنفيذ في فاتح يناير 2011.

وصادق مجلس النواب الخميس 4 نوفمبر بالإجماع على مشروع قانون يسمح بدفع النفقة للنساء والأطفال القاصرين في حالة تخلّف الزوج السابق عن الدفع.

وزير العدل محمد الناصري قال للمشرعين إن الصندوق يهدف إلى تعزيز التضامن الأسري والتماسك الاجتماعي. وتم رصد حوالي 500 مليون درهم لسنة 2011 ستكون متاحة للصرف الفوري.

وعادة ما تعاني النساء المغربيات بدون دخل لأن الأوامر القضائية حول النفقة تأخذ وقتًا قبل دخول حيز التنفيذ. وفي ضوء هذا الوضع، يكون على المطلقات المتروكات لحالهن مع أطفالهن تدبر أمورهن دون أية مساعدة.

سميرة ر. تبلغ 34 عامًا. وهي تطلقت في سن 22 عامًا وتُركت مع طفلتها الرضيعة، ولم تكن قادرة على دفع المحاكم لتطبيق حكم النفقة.

وقالت "زوجي السابق اختبأ لكي لا يضطر لدفع أي شيء. لم تتمكن المحاكم من تقفي أثره رغم أنه تاجر وبإمكانه تلبية مصاريف ابنته الوحيدة".

وتعمل سميرة طوال اثنتى عشرة سنة كخادمة لكي تتمكن ابنتها نورا، وهي الآن تلميذة في السنة الأولى ثانوي، من "مواصلة تعليمها وإنقاذ نفسها من هذا الوضع الهش الذي تعيشان فيه". وفي يناير، بإمكان سميرة طلب المال من محكمة الأسرة التي أصدرت حكم النفقة.

وبموجب القانون الجديد، فإن المطلقات وأطفالهن مؤهلون للاستفادة من الدعم من شهرين من عدم الأداء، وفي الحالات التي لا يمكن فيها تطبيق أحكام النفقة و"عندما يكون الزوج غائبًا".

ويجب تطبيق أحكام النفقة الصادرة عن المحكمة بحذافيرها لأنه في بعض الحالات يكون الأب قادرًا على دفع النفقة لكن لا يُجبر "بشكل كاف" للقيام بهذا الواجب حسب قول البرلمانية والمحامية فاطمة مستغفر لمغاربية. وقالت إن تأسيس الصندوق خطوة جريئة لكنها لا ينبغي أن تشجع الآباء على التملص من التزاماتهم.

وأوضحت "عقد الزواج يجب أن يتضمن بنودًا صريحة تبين حقوق كلا الطرفين"، مضيفة أن اتخاذ إجراءات قبل الزواج ستحول دون الوقوع في مشاكل غير ضرورية وفي الطلاق.

وبالرغم من وجود مسطرة صلح يمكن أن يلجأ إليها الزوجان قبل الطلاق، يصعب على القضاة تطبيقها بشكل سليم بالنظر إلى الأعداد الكبيرة لقضايا الطلاق التي تبت فيها المحاكم كل يوم حسب البرلمانية.

وختمت بالقول "الشرط الرئيسي للزواج هو الاستمرارية. إذا كان هناك خلل من البداية فإن النتيجة الوحيدة التي قد تنشأ هي المشاكل الاجتماعية. فيجب أن يكون الزوجان متوافقين في كافة الجوانب"

Economics Change the Dynamics of Moroccan Marriage

Continuing on the topic of marriage in Morocco, here is another piece on the subject. This time from Public Radio International. If you click on the link you can listen to the radio story.
____________________________

Tough economy changes marriage in Morocco
From PRI's The World 08 September, 2010 04:07:00

Marriage is expensive in the Arab world, and a tough economy is changing relationships in Morocco.

Marriages in Arab countries like Morocco can cost between four and ten times the per capita income. "Everything is getting really expensive," Morroco resident Mohammed Mahoufi, who recently married off his eighth child, told PRI's The World. He explains:

Now the people are really demanding. The people will not accept just anything or to live just anywhere. They ask for very nice furniture and marriage has just become really, really hard for someone who has a limited salary.

Since young men are expected to have a good job and an apartment before they pop the question, Moroccan men have begun to marry later and later. A generation ago, the average age of a Moroccan man on his wedding day was 24. Today, it's 32.

Those changes are having profound effects on Moroccan culture. Some men have been looking to women to help them out with finances, a situation that would have been unthinkable in the past.

"Before the husband must pay anything, but now, about the situation, the world has changed," Jawad, an unmarried fish salesman in Casablanca told The Word. "So, she must help her husband a little bit."

The delayed marriages may also be fueling "a sexual explosion in Morocco," according to sociologist Abdel-Samad Aldealmi. He says the changing norms have led to "a lot of premarital sex, non-marital sex, emergence and visibility of homosexuality and lesbianism. A lot of emergence of prostitution also."

The tough economy can also make it very difficult for people who can't afford to get married. "My father is always telling me, all the time: Without wife you are always weak in my eyes," Jawad told The World.

Housing prices continue to rise faster than wages, and Jawad estimates it will cost about $40,000 to buy and furnish an apartment and pay for the wedding. In the meantime, his sweetheart's family is encouraging her to find someone with a better job and more money.

"Here in our community, in our society, if you are married, you are an important person," he says. "And if you are like hanging out in the streets and with your friends, you mean nothing in your society."

Moroccan Bachelors Seek Wives who Work

This piece from Magharebia about the status of marriage and mate selection in Morocco now speaks for itself.
__________________
Moroccan bachelors seek wives who work

2010-08-09

The process of courtship and marriage is changing for many Moroccans, with financial questions looming larger than ever.

By Siham Ali for Magharebia in Rabat – 09/08/10


The classic Moroccan ideal of marriage is giving way to modern necessities. Men's pursuit of a soul mate is changing, as are the days of parents choosing the right bride for their sons.

These days, many men begin by looking at the financial situation of their future spouse. Although not long ago men used to seek women who had no job aspirations, so they would be free to take care of the housework, things are different now. The high cost of living is spurring them to seek brides who are working and can help them make ends meet.

"Young men are not greedy, but they are trying to adapt to the times," said sociologist Hamid Soundoussi.

Marriage represents one more institution undergoing change in Morocco due to eroding purchasing power, he continued. "Once upon a time, a primary school teacher could easily support his family single-handedly, but that has become very difficult now. The marriage age has risen in Morocco due to the increase in the cost of living. The concept of mutual financial help between spouses is a fairly recent one, especially in urban areas."

For 33-year-old Farid Laafraoui, the search for a wife has lasted three years. He set a number of criteria that his future spouse must meet, including the need for her to have a job. He told Magharebia that the time when love came before marriage has passed.

"Love is essential, but it is built following marriage on the basis of mutual respect," he said. "If a couple's financial situation is stable, they will have fewer problems. My monthly wage is just 5,000 dirhams. A second income will be necessary to run the household and pay for the children to go to school."

Farid is one of many people who are attributing their focus on women's financial circumstances to the new demands of daily life. Women are also aware of the change and are placing higher demands on men in return.

Narjiss Bahaoui, a 28-year-old bank clerk, said that several men close to her family and at her workplace had made overtures towards her, but that she preferred someone "ready" to tie the knot.

"Since feelings are not a major criterion for marriage, I have the right to marry a husband who already has a flat and a nice car," she said. "But despite everything, I'm willing to abandon these preconditions for someone who would love me for myself and not my monthly income. I'm both romantic and realistic at the same time."

Some women are now so sceptical of the greed of suitors that they become hardened singletons and end up regretting it.

One such woman, 44-year-old Houda T., is a manager with a large company in Casablanca. She turned down several offers of marriage over the years because she always had doubts about the men's real intentions.

"I learned rather late that I shouldn't be so mistrustful," she said. "I should have gone for it with one of them and settled down. My success in my career has not lessened my desire to have a home and children, like my sisters and friends, especially since society takes a dim view of unmarried women, and this causes me a lot of stress."

Some young women say one should be realistic and objective, and not take a prejudiced view of men. The sexual equality they strive for presupposes the same rights and responsibilities for both parties in a marriage.

"Since women have always demanded a husband who has a job, men also have the right to marry a woman who is working in this society of ours, which is becoming more modern," said 22-year-old law student Souad Chatibi. "This doesn't mean that a home can't be built on the foundations of love and respect."